Saturday, November 16, 2002
brr. just reached home and had my shower beefore washing my shirt. was actually kinda sick this morning when i woke up. so didnt make it to guides. -hides- went for deco meetin instead. did the big gift box for the props. brainstormed for xmas service deco. it's gonna be so exciting! it already is! -grinns- and we're gonna have a deco retreat this week! -jumpps- goin to arab street to check out the new stock of cloth and liyan's gonna teach the guys how to bargain. i could literally see the agony on their faces. hahas. then we'll be going to ikea and the esplanade. whoah. i like i like. mmms. this coming week's gonna be busy. have school lessons, clc1 and clc2, deco preparation and guides badge to take. shant say what badge. but am praying really hard i can pass. it aint something im very good at or enjoy doing. -bleahhs-
today's combined service's atmosphere was super high. if only every service would be just like that, but it'll surely happen one day. hahas. xiuhui brought jiaqi and she's so little but well, she's heavy too. had to piggyback her up the stationary escalator. brr. but anyways wfl today was fun. i did a great job acting. hahas. im giving myself some encouragement here. hehes. ignore my egoism. went to look for my sheeps at hubhub center and my white shirt was stained with curry. alrights. so i was the entertainer there. but it's okay. went to do some shopping at centerpoint following that. xiuhui said she wants to kidnap me and lock me up in her own cupboard for her to keep. wudder. so now if anything happens to me... know who to look for. hahas! but i still love you, xiuhui. love jewell, wanteng and joyce too! -huggs all of you all- hmns. am tired already. sleepy. another saturday where i'll be going to dreamland to see pixies with a smile on my face. ahh... life is good.
bitinn` awayy at 7:31 AM
Thursday, November 14, 2002
-grinns wide wide wide wide- im happy now. -rubs tummy- yummie yummie. contented with life.
bitinn` awayy at 7:46 AM
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
::guiding has always been my life::
::but i guess i made the wrong choice::
that's what i wrote in my cca evaluation form under "remarks". im friggin sad now. and angry. suddenly feeling the wrathful indignation inside of me. urghs. i cant understand how one can be judged because of a mistake. who, in this life, has never tripped and fall? who, in this life, has never done something she'd regret? who, in this life, has never been foolish in her actions?
it was plainly playing. i shouldnt be bringing this up again. but, it's impacting my life in st nicks too heavily. it was plainly playing. plainly playing. you say im naughty. yes, i know. im sorry. im sorry!!! i really am. but god, why am i not given a second chance? they judge me by my full-of-stains pinafores. my low belt. my unbuttoned blouse collar. on top of it all, they judge me by the kid in me. by one incident. does that make me what i am, who i am? they look at me with those leery eyes. because i behaved like a kid in school for a day, im condemned forever. she couldnt nominate me for the good service award because they objected. she couldnt promote me because they think im a born loser. and i cant get my silver award because i fail in my conduct and appropriate attire. i dislike school. quite a whole lot. they think they know it all. they think they call the shots. but inside everyone of them, they are afraid to step out and make a stand.
she's just a little girl
she merely needed to let it all out
she's just a little girl
stop keeping score
bitinn` awayy at 6:01 AM
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